5 Little Things That Will Improve Your Relationship.

Happy couples know that good relationships take work. It’s a joint effort by both of you to keep a good thing going. But you don’t have to make grand gestures like sweeping them off to a second honeymoon to have a healthy relationship. Sometimes it’s the small things that make all the difference.

No matter how good things are with your partner, they can always be better. For couples who are looking to improve on their relationships, here are 5 little things that you can start doing right away.

5 LITTLE THINGS THAT WILL IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

1. ELIMINATE “YES BUT” FROM YOUR VOCABULARY.

When your partner wants to do something that you don’t want to do, you can easily disappoint them by saying no to their request. “Yes but” is a little phrase that really means the same as saying “No.” The “but” is usually followed by an excuse for why you don’t want to do what your partner wants.

For example, if your partner wants to go for an afternoon of golf and you’d rather go to a movie, instead of saying “Yes but I want to go to a movie,” say “Yes, AND then we can go see a movie after we golf.” With “Yes and,” you both get what you want and you have two activities that you can share in.

2. LET THE LITTLE THINGS GO.

In a relationship, it’s all about compromise. You can’t have your way all the time and neither can your partner. Accept that your partner has different preferences than you do, and that’s what makes them unique.

Avoid arguments by releasing the need to have things your way. When your partner wants something their way, let them have it. Don’t keep score either.

The same goes for the need to be right all the time. If your partner and you are arguing over what time your favorite TV show comes on, one of you is probably wrong. In the big picture of your relationship over your lifetime, you won’t still be debating this ten years from now, so let it go. Otherwise the nonstop arguments over little things could be the reason that you don’t have that ten year anniversary.

3. LISTEN INTENTLY.

Think about the last time that you heard someone speak who captured your full attention. Maybe it was a famous person making a speech about a topic that was interesting to you. Now think about the last time that your partner spoke to you. Can you even remember what they said? What was the difference in your attitude and behavior toward each speaker?

We speak at a slower rate than our minds are capable of processing information. As a result, while our partners are talking, our thoughts often wander to the little things that are important to us like what we could be getting done instead of listening to them talk.

Rather than disrespecting your partner by not giving them your full attention, practice active listening. Remove distractions like your cell phone, turn your body toward your partner make eye contact, and don’t interrupt them. As they speak, try to mentally summarize their meaning in your own words. When they finish, clarify that you understood what they were trying to communicate.

4. PLAY TOGETHER.

A study in The Family Journal found that relationship satisfaction was higher for couples who played together more frequently. The shared experiences of a fun time together create a bond that improves intimacy.

Play can be anything from a physical activity like a sport to movie night at home. Finding opportunities to have fun doesn’t have to be a planned activity either. Play with your partner could be as simple as sharing a laugh.

Find humor in everyday things that you can playfully tease your partner about. For example, have a laugh with each other over the fact that you almost poured orange juice into your cereal. If you two have an inside joke that no one else could understand, you share that private connection in your relationship.

5. EXPRESS GRATITUDE TO YOUR PARTNER.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D., author of Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You? says that “Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.” Reducing stress is a great reason to appreciate your partner.

Focusing on positives rather than negatives also improves your attitude toward your partner. If your spouse just fixed the dishwasher but left a mess of tools and dirty parts on the counter, focus on the good and not the bad. Instead of saying “Why can’t you put your tools away where they belong?,” say “It’s wonderful to have a loving partner who can fix things when they break.” When your words express what’s going right in your relationship, your thoughts agree with them.

Marriage , Relationship

5 Little Things That Will Improve Your Relationship.

Adewale Sunday, 6 December 2015

10 Habits That will save your relationship

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes couples unhappy.”

A partnership is complicated, and one that is successful is both complicated and an art form. Being in a successful partnership is a learned skill; t takes patience, forgiveness, determination and hard work. The key to a successful partnership is to be mindful in the relationship, stay in a positive space as much as possible and to find laughter and fun in every day despite the challenges that will inevitably arise.

There has to be a solid foundation built on trust and understanding. It should be no surprise that you must like each other as much as you love each other to succeed together. You must be willing to do the work and be patient with one another while forging your path. As you learn to be good together, you will create a shared experience that will end up making your relationship successful.

HERE ARE 10 HABITS THAT KEEP COUPLES HAPPY:

THEY HAVE A SHARED PURPOSE

A strong sense of purpose shared with your partner will empower you both to be your best selves. The purpose is more than having a successful relationship it should be significant, have deep meaning and be well-defined. It might be something like reducing your carbon footprint or a lifelong quest to see every country. Whatever your purpose it should excite you both.

THEY ENJOY BEING OF SERVICE

Strong partnerships are rooted in being of service to others. Giving, contributing, and helping others and your community provides value to both the people you are serving and to your relationship. Volunteering often provides more benefits to those who do the volunteering than those who receive help. Sharing in doing good brings that good back into your relationship.

THEY ARE QUICK TO FORGIVE

It’s practically impossible to chart a path towards success without some missteps. Holding on to grudges is one way to derail the relationship altogether. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself. It allows you and your partner both to move on and grow from the experience.

THEY’RE SUPPORTIVE OF EACH OTHER’S INDIVIDUALITY

To be successful and happy as a couple, each person must be successful in their own right. Who you are as an individual is a big part of the bigger picture. To be successful as a couple, both partners must honor and support the things that make up the person, not just the entity of the couple.

THEY TALK ABOUT MONEY

Money is one of the major reasons why partners become unhappy, so for a relationship to succeed both partners need to get real about the money. Take the fear out of the money piece by talking about it and by being honest about the bottom line. It’s easy to handle money challenges when both of you are completely aware of the situation.

THEY FIND THE HUMOR

No one will argue that life is hard. The best way to survive the hard times is to find humor and laughter. Granted, humor isn’t found in all situations but seek out humor to lighten the mood whenever you can and when it’s appropriate.

THEY KNOW HOW TO PICK THEIR BATTLES

Somethings are worth fighting for and other things – well, not so much. Successful couples do not waste time fighting about things that don’t matter over the long term. They pick their battles around things that matter to them individually, to them as a couple and to the success of their relationship. And when they do fight they fight fair.

THEY TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN HAPPINESS

Happier people are more successful, and a partnership is better off when both partners are happy. The thing is happy people also know that no one else can make them happy and that they must handle their own happiness.

THEY VALUE THEIR DIFFERENCES

It’s the differences in each person and what they bring to a relationship that is often the reason a relationship succeeds. Relationships are a give and take and rely on the strengths that each person brings to help it grow. Respecting and valuing the differences in each other makes it so each person is comfortable contributing to the relationship.

THEY PRACTICE GRATITUDE

Gratitude is the foundation for building a successful relationship. It keeps the focus on what is working and helps you learn from what is holding the relationship back. When a couple practices gratitude in their relationship, they make their relationship a priority, and there is no greater recipe for success.

While none of these traits will guarantee a successful, long-lasting relationship, it is safe to say they can only help make any relationship stronger. It is the combination of the best of ourselves paired with the best of our partner in a respectful space that will keep the relationship growing and evolving into a successful partnership.

“The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” – Aristotle

Marriage , Relationship

10 Habits That will save your relationship

Adewale

6 Ways To Attract the Right People and make them love you

You might wonder how certain people seem to attract others to them so easily; maybe they have some magic spells they perform each night to make people like them, or maybe they just have a likeable personality…

Even though some people naturally have a more outgoing, friendly personality, that doesn’t mean you need to become the loudest, funniest, most transparent person in the room in order to make friends.

People gravitate toward others who they perceive as good listeners, attentive, kind, and understanding. Also, being genuine and open will make others feel as though they can trust you, because you don’t try too hard or put on a mask. In our world today, many of us still hide our face due to fear of judgment or ridicule, or because we don’t know how to really act around others, but getting people to like you doesn’t have to feel like learning a new language.

Presenting yourself to the right people in a way that will make them attracted to you may seem difficult, but it doesn’t have to be.

HERE ARE 6 WAYS TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT PEOPLE:

1. DON’T BE AFRAID OF VULNERABILITY.

Many people feel scared of vulnerability, because they fear what other people might think or say about them. However, you can’t really get to know someone, or let someone get to know you, without opening up a little. Present yourself proudly and confidently, and don’t try to hide certain aspects of yourself or pretend to be someone else. People actually love realness in a world full of insincerity, so put yourself out there. Honesty goes a long way in getting people to like you, so don’t put up your walls in fear of what others may think.

2. CALL THE PERSON BY THEIR NAME.

One surefire way to lose someone’s interest and trust is to forget their name. When someone tells you their name, remember it, and call them by it throughout your conversation with them. This might not seem significant, but people love hearing their name; it makes them feel important, special, and cared for. If you can make someone feel that way, you can easily gain friends, and get them to stick around.

3. SMILE!

No one likes to talk with someone who seems too serious, uncomfortable, or stressed. Smiling will quickly dispel any awkwardness or anxiety about meeting someone new, because it signals to other people that you have good energy. Smiles act as magnets, drawing people in and attracting others who (hopefully) share similar energy. Frowns do exactly the opposite; they repel people, blocking out potential friends and conversations.

People will notice your smile before they even get to hear you speak, so emitting positive vibes and good energy will make you appear more open and receptive to people. According to a survey by Delta Dental, a smile is a person’s most important physical feature, so make sure you share it with people when you meet them.

4. ASK MORE QUESTIONS.

People like to feel important, like they’re being heard. Clarifying what they’ve said to make sure you understand properly will make the speaker feel valued, so asking some questions makes a conversation go much more smoothly. This will show that you’re interested and engaged in the conversation, and your exceptional listening skills will not go unnoticed by others. Too many people today check their phones in the middle of a conversation, or think so much about what they will say next that they totally miss the meaning behind the other person’s words.

Active listening involves asking questions for greater understanding, and doing so will instantly make you more likeable.

5. LAUGH AT YOURSELF.

People relate more with those who have a sense of humor, who can laugh at themselves despite any shortcomings or mistakes they’ve made. Laughter takes the heaviness out of life temporarily, and allows people to forget about the problems at work or argument they just had, or anything else that weighs them down. If you can make someone laugh, then you’ve made a friend for life. People gravitate towards those who don’t take themselves too seriously, because laughing at yourself means you know how to take things in stride and not allow them to control you or your emotions.

6. GIVE PEOPLE YOUR FULL ATTENTION.

Most importantly, treat people as if they matter more than anything else in the world while you speak to them. Turn toward them, nod to show them that you’re listening, and put your phone away. Attracting the right people just comes down to treating people like human beings, not like objects with no feelings. People want to feel like their voice is being heard, and if you can give them undivided attention, it will go a long way in increasing your likeability.

Marriage , Relationship

6 Ways To Attract the Right People and make them love you

Adewale

I hope you fall in love with someone just like this.

I hope you fall in love with someone who always calls you back and never lets you fall asleep making you feel unwanted. I hope you fall in love with someone who holds your hand during the scary parts of horror movies and burns cookies with you while you’re both busy dancing around the kitchen. I hope you fall in love with someone who tickles you and makes you smile on hard days and on easy ones. But beyond all that I hope you fall in love with someone who will never leave you behind and who will never take you for granted. Someone who will stand by you when you’re right and stand by you when you’re wrong. Someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you still. I hope you fall in love with someone who kisses you in the rain and hugs you when you’re cold and wouldn’t have it any other way.
To crown it all, some that fear God, he/she will never cheat or disappointed you, such marriage is build on solid and good foundation, it last forever.

Marriage , Relationship

I hope you fall in love with someone just like this.

Adewale Friday, 4 December 2015

The person to marry.

“Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. This is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute – even when the waters get deep, and dark.”

Leadership , Marriage

The person to marry.

Adewale

Using this criteria to marry a lady is wrong

1: Curve: they ask, is she figure 8?If you marry her for her figure 8,
will she maintain that when she become pregnant? Never, it may
even turn to figure 96

2:Size: they often ask; is she “Lepa” (slim).They are crazy about’ Lepa’. After giving birth to the first baby, what will happen to the size? It will be as if you took her to a vulcanizer to pump her up.
Stop fooling yourself, that ‘Lepa ‘girl will later look like her ‘orobo’ (fat) mummy. If you don’t like the present look of her mum, you better don’t marry her.

3: Big Butt: Very wrong! How will you choose a girl because she has a big buttocks, this is even an heavy load to her, big but its just a big sewage disposal unit, a magnificent septic tank. Is that what you want to marry? Wise up guys.

4: Pointed breasts: Will her breast remain pointed after raising three
children? Never! Don’t go for breast, go for the best.

5: Tooth gap: “Eji Jo rice”.Quite funny, you want to marry a lady
without character just because she has a gap in her teeth, she may
end up creating gap in your life and destiny.

6. She dress sexy: A great woman will dress to look beautiful not to
look sexy. If you see a “gala” whose nylon has been removed, will
you buy it? if she is exposing her breast, cleavage, pants, thigh etc
for the world to see and you want to marry her, you will not marry a
“PRIVATE LIMITED COMPANY” but a “PUBLIC LIABILITY COMPANY”
Be wise guy.

7: Cat walking: you want to marry her because she is cat-walking,
sorry you won’t. She that is in marriage will not cat-walk in
Pregnancy, she will only tummy walk.

8: Rich parents: So, you are a gold digger! If you marry her because
of her rich parents and her parents begin to feed you and your
family in marriage, you are not a Man. Just stop wearing trousers,
go and start wearing Skirt and blouse and don’t forget “Iro and
buba”.

9: Brazilian Hair: Do you want her because her hair is long or
because she is wearing a Brazilian hair? That shows shallowness,
wearing Brazilian hair does not equate beauty or brain. Any dunce
can have long hair and do one million braid.

10: British and USA Passport: Many guys are looking for these; any lady that carries British or U.S Passport is a hot cake to Men who are generation of Esau, those who are ready to sell their future and destiny for a morsel of bread.

11.Beauty:A whole lots of beautiful ladies are without discretion.
Don’t ever marry a lady just for her beauty, beauty will fade, character will last. If she dress well but do not act well, don’t marry her.If you do, she will make your life miserable.

12: Bed expertise: “She is very good in bed, very hot,very acrobatic” that was what a guy told his mentor who ask him why he wanted to marry a lady who kept on cheating on him ,embarrassing and abusing his mother.

Marriage , Relationship

Using this criteria to marry a lady is wrong

Adewale Thursday, 3 December 2015

Why You must not marry Him

Ladies, do not make excuses and say you didn’t know when enough was enough.

Here are 4 red flags that should give you the key to exit the relationship, as soon as you can.

1. He cheats

Many people will say this point is debatable because lots of couples who have fidelity issues repair their relationship and end up better than where they were pre-cheating. But it’s not the act of cheating that’s the deal-breaker here;
it’s the disrespect, broken trust and significant risk to your health. (Hello, STDS!) With all the risks that hang in the balance for just a tiny bit of pleasure, it’s entirely inconsiderate and selfish when a man cheats on you. Do you want someone who puts his wants before your needs, like security and trust? You should not, which is why you have to say BYE to cheating men.

2. He gets violent, even if he doesn’t hit you

You may think this is a no-brainer but honestly it isn’t. Most women I know who’ve been in abusive relationships have immense strength, only to shut down in the presence of her partner’s anger and violence. No healthy relationship can be built off a foundation of fear because you never know when his actions may escalate.

3. He doesn’t claim or proclaim you

Many women will spend time in limbo-like relationships with guys who won’t give them the girlfriend title. Here’s the truth: If you’ve been dating a man for longer than six to nine months and he hasn’t made you an official part of his life, it’s time to MOVE ON. Stop making excuses for why things aren’t progressing to the next level; you’ll only waste time and your time is worth more than that. Don’t settle for less because you don’t want a man who makes you a bargain-bin find. If he knows your worth, he’ll claim and proclaim you and there will be few conversations about how ‘he isn’t ready.’

4. He suffers from addiction

There are plenty of honor badges to be earned by standing by your man when he’s fallen on hard times. But CAUTION if you stick with a man fighting demons, namely addiction. Addiction can range from less-severe, like cigarettes, to major issues such as drug, alcohol, pornography and s*x. Someone who suffers from an addiction will do anything – and I mean anything – to get their fix, even at the expense of those they love. So unless you’d like to be second to whatever vices he has, it may be time to ‘leave smoke.’

Marriage , Relationship

Why You must not marry Him

Adewale